Shakespearean Sonnets
#1 My dear, Whence hath thy beauty cometh from
Thy beauty is comparable to naught
Thou art, forsooth, a sentimental plum
Elation, to me, is what thou hast wrought
Thine allure resembles a fair maiden
To whom I shall give mine eternal love
With splendid liking my life is laden
‘Tis all because of thee, thy gracious dove
Alas but, ‘twould be rather sinful, tisk!
Natheless shall I give up my love, my dear
To set one’s heart intensely: quite a risk
Be gone with thee, I must say now, I fear
Perchance thy charm I shall find soon anon
But now I must say, “farewell, my fair swan”
#2 The sonnet 'tis of the S. S. Shakespeare
Destroy ye, shall we? Yes, by troth, forsooth
Why, my vessel is thy vessel to fear
I shall destroy ye whilst I am in youth
My bow so proud, my stern, it has such bron
My captain shall sail this ship with such force
My deck so wide, my paddles are so long
It's power is equal to fifty horse
Shalt thou win thy race I shall be thy friend
Why, should I beat thee, then I shall not brag
No matter who wins our friendship shall mend
But, yet, beware, for thy win I shall snag
To think that thou could'st win 'tis most absurd
I shall destroy ye. Have at thee, coward!
#3 Avaunt thy filthy figure from my sight
Destruction is what thou hast wrought today
For thee to stop’st, I shall henceforth still fight
I shall be forced to give thee now a fray
Destruction ‘ property and vand’lism
For, these are crimes punishable by law
Thy horrid ways hath cause many a sch’sm
Thine obstreperous wrath awaketh awe
Although behavior o’ thee is quite cruel
With thy great stick to my anger ye brew
I yet shan’t challenge thee to any duel
An acquaintance, thou hast been, hitherto
I hope, anon, that all thy ways abort
And then, again, I shall be thy cohort
#4 O! I despise of summertime, forsooth
I prithee for the horrid thing avaunt
Usward the vast heat cometh without ruth
The summer, with it’s monstrous heat, shall flaunt
The garments of the cohort ere: splendid
Henceforth, the cohort’s garments: scant’ly-clad
Pernicious heat eke comes this in the mid
All is uncivilized attire, lad
An odd few still sport satisfact’ry wear
Yet, e’en these fine chaps shall aroint anon
Alas, my rage for summer is quite fair
The edifice of time commence, rage’s bron
I yet deride it, be that as it may
Perchance my hatred shall soon take a fray
#5 Should wicked spirits e’er decayeth thee?
I fancy not, for beauty is a fact
‘Tis most glorious that the spirits flee
Contrarily to mortals it attracts
Thou dost command the legions o’ splendor
With thine attractive segments thou art Zeus
An cometh one of whom is a vendor
Then, “Nay!” thou say, “I wish not for a truce!”
Yet, O’er love Cupid watches, ‘tis a threat
With his great stick he shall add to the whirl
For his amusement he prompts for a fret
He, natheless to demand, maketh it twirl
As I say, o’er our love Cupid shall watch
And I dare say that he shall make a botch
#6 My dear, Where hath thy beauty cometh from
Thy beauty is comparable to naught
Thou art, forsooth, a sentimental plum
Elation, to me, is what thou hast wrought
Thine allure resembles a fair maiden
To whom I shall give mine eternal love
With splendid liking my life is laden
‘Tis all because of thee, thy gracious dove
Alas but, now these are my dying words
I have been struck by my cruel enemy
So please go scatter'st his boist'rous absurds
A favour thou shalt do, so make them flee
Of my cruel pain this is so just the dawn
So now I must say, “farewell, my fair swan”*
#7 An epoch of my life shall now begin
A very splendiferous one, indeed
An epoch with more glee and much less sin
With many opportunities been free’d
An old house sold a new just obtained
An yet, I thought it couldn’t e’er be done
And with this house many new ventures gained
And with said ventures comes a lot of fun
Nevertheless these changes have effects
Such as many responsibilities
But I shall indubitably perfect
Done with the best of mine abilities
And so begins an splendiferous time
Alacrity the bells o' joy shall chime**
#8 A thousand miles I would walk for thee
A thousand miles for thy charming smile
A thousand miles to fill thee with glee
A thousand miles thou would’st help beguile
A thousand miles to see thee again
And thereabout to stare into thine eyes
A thousand miles would not be walked in vain
If ‘twas for thee forthwith I would arise
A thousand miles for treasures so high?
I fancy not, why nay, ‘twould be to far
For thee, indeed, it would be very nigh
For thee, I would be guided by thy star
I would do anything for thee, indeed
A thousand miles: a trek I shall lead
#9 I have not witness true love hitherto
Thou art ever so beauteous thou glow’st
Thy love is more contagious than the flu
Yet thou dost not-about thy beauty-boast
I could look into thine eyes till the dawn
Thy hair: ‘tis quite a lovely waterfall
It flows about like a grand wondrous swan
Thou dost illuminate the whole great hall
O! noster amare est sita in cor
Splendidus olor apud vilis sus
sus habet minus sordes que decor
Quidvis quia vid’yo bellus risus
Pulchra es, plus quam bonus regina
magis pulchra quam omnes femina
*#6 is a variation of #1 to use to be your dying words to your dear if you are struck by your enemy.
**#7 is a poem I wrote in the eyes of my grandmother, and then sent to her.